Fear Has A Name And It Is...
I was reading a blog entry by Diane, aka The Lone Beader, on fear earlier today and it struck a deep chord with me. I've been fighting a win/lose battle with fear myself that has kept me from advancing in my love of beadwork, as well as other artistic pursuits.
Diane called her's "fear of a blank canvas", the fear of starting something new. Mine is an internal battle over whether I have any talent at all; am I just fooling myself and should just pack up my beads and knock it off. Why suffer rejection and embarrassment? Then I read her comment about that kind of thinking, and I quote: "And, if I am afraid of the world rejecting my work, then I am not creating art for the right reasons. " I took a pause and thought long and hard on that. She's so right! I'm not creating art for anyone but myself. It's my personal happiness that is why I create. Whether I'm beading or dancing or whatever, it's me that I'm doing it for. And if things don't work out just so, well then that was a learning experiencing and I dust off my knees and try it again. Or if it turns out that I didn't enjoy it, I know not to try that again.
I've been taking steps to conquer that fear. Blocking out time for myself so that I can create, participating in group projects to inspire my creativity, and even setting up a shop on Etsy.com to give a shot at selling (nothing in there just yet). No matter what, I'm not going to stop being an artist. The only thing I have to fear is fear itself... and I'm wearing some big boxing gloves!